Dog Pile

So, I was thinking the other day, what's the difference in wasting my money on a "Get Rich Now" scam or the promise of a middle class life after education? I'll tell you, the first one is less expensive.

Obviously, both have their success stories, or they wouldn't have any substantial claim. But, when it comes down to it all you are doing is picking a dog pile to invest your time and money into, with the hopes that if you can just get the football (success) you'll be happy and content.

Is the "football" what we are really after? In the "Get Rich Now" scenario, there is a chance for anything from total lose to mediocre gain to absolute success. Many of these in the past have been based on buying and selling real-estate, so let's run with that. There was a giant heap of people (or dog pile) trying their hand at real-estate during it's peak. The competition was high, and the rewards were even higher for those who made it to the football.

Now let's look at the standard college education. I'm a Mechanical Engineering Major, so I'll go with that. Getting an engineering degree is not as easy as reading a 90 page book on buying and selling property, the investment is higher, and the reward is lower. It should be clear that the competition will not be as great in this scenario.

I've watched countless people sell themselves to the slavery that if they work hard enough they will eventually make it to the bottom of the dog pile and find their success. And, so, they work countless hours for little or no advancement, and that is what's expected of them.

But, how great is it to really make it to the bottom of the of the dog pile? Think about it. You now have the weight of everyone else on top of you with your back exposed. You've gotten your success, but you can't do anything with it down there; you can't even move. Not to mention you now have a giant target on your back, and everyone has easy access to it. A man can only survive so long with that sort of punishment.

When I was in ROTC we played rugby once after class. It quickly turned into a game where the pile would just inch one way or the other toward the end zone much like an evenly matched game of tug-of-war. It became apparent to me that if I just waited outside of the dog pile the ball would inevitable pop out in the ensuing struggle, at which point I would pick it up and score.

Similarly, I feel like everyone feels that the only way to get the ball is to be king of the pile. I'd just like to wait outside and see if I can't pick up the ball when it pops out. People always talk about never having their "lucky break," but the problem is that they never wait for it.

Live freely, even if you must live modestly you are still living richer than those fools piling on each other. None of them can enjoy what ever they have managed to grab from the pile, because they always have someone else's knee in their back.

Earlier I questioned if anyone knew what they were really after at the bottom of the dog pile. The answer is the means to be free. It's not the money, the power, or authority, but it's the illusion that with all of those they will finally be able to control their environment. (I'll talk about that more in another blog.)

"In the long run men hit only what they aim at" - Henry David Thoreau

Detachment

I've never been  the blogging type, but I figure I'll give it a shot. Everyone tells me that I have a unique, even crazy perspective on life, so you may want to see why.

Today wasn't the first time, but I realized that I truly have no close relationships. I've always done my own thing as long as I can remember despite what everyone else was doing, and sometimes in spite of what everyone else was doing. Despite my confidence--and yes, if you don't know me I am very happy with who I am and what I am; I love myself--I've never really been sure where I belong.

I have two older brothers, and when we were younger we had two cousins--both their age--that we would often spend time with. Naturally, the my oldest cousin and my oldest brother were best friends, and similarly with my other brother and cousin. The match-up would switch from time to time, but the fact always remained that I was the floater, or third wheel. When one pair was doing something that I didn't care for I hung out with the other.

This has carried over into every aspect of my life since. I've always been able to nudge my way into any social circle, and people generally love me upon first impressions. I was even unfortunate enough to be the first of my "friends" (more like close acquaintances by convenience) to turn 21, so I was often at the bars alone. But, without fail I would always leave with a new circle of friends.

However, after the first impressions things begin to get a little uncomfortable. Everyone else has known each other for long periods of time, and once again I'm just a third wheel. I don't really care to be close to people. In fact, I'm quit content just having occasional company with the people of my choosing. But, there is a problem with that, because while I may have a friend for every situation, I don't have one for every time. There isn't always someone to fall back on when I need them.

For instance, I used to be a very physical person, and it's still important to me, but I'm incapable of developing a relationship with someone. Like I said before, I am great with first impressions, and can get a date with nearly anyone I choose; I look good, and I'm great on paper. I'm often a fall-back guy for girls in their rebound (and no I've never sought them out in that state). I am truly incapable of getting close to someone. Before you say that's not true let me explain further. I have never been on a third date, my circle of friends is dependent completely on who I see regularly, and I have never been upset by a funeral (I lost one of my "best friends" from high school by suicide), not even a tear shed.

I am not at all unhappy with my state of detachment. In fact I find it very freeing. I can't imagine being tied down in any direction. I will admit that I feel lonely every now and then, but who doesn't? While most people will confide in their friends, I confide in myself. There my sadness and failures are turned to a motivation unrivaled.

"Passions are like a reflex, they only move us when we stop flexing."

So the question that I pose is this: Am I right to stay detached, to manage and control my emotions and my reactions to them? Am I leading an unhealthy life? Most would say from looking at me that I am a successful man. Is that in spite of my emotional detachment? I tend to think that I have found a better, more fulfilling way to live, and dare I say more socially responsible. I do not rely on the constant effort of others to keep me sane, happy, successful, and anything else you may use your friends for.

Gandhi said, "In matters of morality, the truth is never found in the majority."